How is your….

Hey y’all, Happy Tuesday!! I dreamed all last night about this blog! Last night before bed I was tagged in a fb post concerning mental health and knew immediately that was next on the list!

So the question of the day is How is your mental health?? A lot of times when you say mental…people automatically assume crazy,and that’s just not true. Mental health to me means how well is your thought life and how well do you mentally compartmentalize and process information.

My mom died when I was 14, but prior to that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Somewhere after being diagnosed with breast cancer and prior to death she had a mental breakdown and was admitted to a mental rehabilitation center. All I could remember thinking at 13 years old, what is really going on?? Visiting her was the hardest thing ever…to see her in a facility,shaking and not even talking to anyone! Omg!! I can’t describe to y’all how hurt and devastating that was. I’m still not sure what was the moment of her breaking point.

My next experience…Fast forward to years later(about 3 years ago) after I had my daughter. I experienced a lot of anxiety and panic attacks and it brought me back to that place that my mom was. I knew I had to get myself together and take back control over my mental health! I secluded myself,I was in a bubble…if it wasn’t about me or that little baby I wasn’t doing it. My husband took responsibility for the bigger kids and he let me breathe and get my mind and thoughts back together. I believe after a traumatic pregnancy and also having a premature baby, really got to me. I was going to the hospital everyday,not sleeping and not taking the time to recover properly. So once everything got normal and she came home I had so many thoughts and feelings that I hadn’t dealt with. I knew I couldn’t be any help for anyone if I did have a break down so I became selfish until I could handle everything.

I haven’t had a panic attack in almost two years. I’ve learned my trigger points and I’ve also learned when to be selfish. So that’s a snippet of my story,feel free to share yours or any input or questions on mental health!D77031AD-F4D1-4CF6-AF1B-CF8FBF77E55D

What do you do everyday to….

Hey y’all! I hope everybody had a great weekend…mine went entirely too fast but it was a good one! I’m still open to topics or discussion questions and we will get to each of them. When I woke up something was on my heart that I would love to discuss as well as motivate you(me too).

So I’m sure we all have this same mentality…when Friday comes we are all excited,pumped and life is great! We are living life like it’s Golden😂😂 but then Sunday night hits and depression kicks in….ugh tomorrow is Monday. We all do it!! We start speaking negativity Sunday night before Monday has even come! Why do we do that?? Well..Mon-thur we are responsible,punctual and routine people living life by a schedule so when Friday comes we feel FREE!!!

So while thinking of all of this I thought hmm…how can we lose the negative mindset of the week?! And I thought, What do you do every day to make yourself happy?? 👀 I went completely blank because I couldn’t think of anything! So I researched a little and I’m going to give you a couple reasons but feel free to add to it and tell me about how does your weekly routine mindset work.

Things to do to be consistently happy:

1. Wake up early

So… I can’t even recommend this to anyone because I’m so not a morning person! Studies show a consistent schedule to get the day started will make for a successful day.

2. Exercise Daily

Another one I’m lacking on severely 🤦🏽‍♀️ but studies shows that exercise gives you more energy for the day,increase self esteem as well as promote better sleep at night.

3. A habit of disengagement

I definitely should do this however I can’t quite turn my brain off! When I say disengaging that means doing absolute nothing for anyone. Taking a walk or drive to clear your head. Listening to peaceful music or just sitting outside by yourself to gather your thoughts from the day.

4. Regularly Help Others

I love helping others anyway I can, this is definitely a necessary daily task. It’s a saying that says “If you want to remember how much you have,see what someone else doesn’t” that’s a powerful statement because sometimes we take things for granted. But helping people gives us a sense of purpose. It’s like a big warm hug feeling!

5. Learning a New Skill

I’m a analytical thinker so this is up my alley! Our brains are meant to constantly work. Learning a new skill also gives us a sense of achievement. We’re all human,we love to be praised and told how great we are and how good we are at something.

I’m going to apply these principles to my everyday life to see if I can tell a difference in my outlook of life daily. Well that’s all I have today. Please follow,like and comment you never know when I’m doing a giveaway and you must do all three things to win a cash prize🎁!!

 

Happiness dependent on….

Y’all I did my happy dance before I started typing because I’m so excited lol. I’m starting early to make sure I get this done because It’s Pentecost Sunday and I’m going to a couple of services!! But any who the next topic that was mentioned was “Is my happiness or self worth dependent on what others think of me?? ” How can we love our self unapologetically despite opinions??

You know this is a subject that’s near and dear to my heart. As a pastors’ wife people tend to put you in a box of expectations! I’m the youngest child and natural born rebel 😂😂 so I used to go outside the box just because. I’m learning lol…but I had to seriously say to myself “Britany Be you”! I don’t sing for my husband,I don’t introduce him at speaking engagements…I try to run from the microphone! I don’t wear big hats,First Lady suits and I don’t have a smile plastered on my face.

🚨Now hold on I’m not saying that is what a First Lady is! Statistically that’s what people envision when thinking of them. I’m myself all the time,I’m bluntly honest…now I’ve learned it’s a difference between being blunt and being rude. But I’m still a person,I have faults,bad hair days and ruins in my pantyhose too!!

So in a world that’s set on trends and stipulations of what and who we should be,push back! Make your own trend,your own kind of beautiful. That’s my input,what’s yours?? Feel free to add a topic you want to discuss also and if you don’t want the comment to publicly come from you,go to the contact button and send me a message. Nothing is off limit!! Love y’all to life ❤️

Jealousy or Self-consciousness…

One of the topics of discussion that was presented was from our winner of the giveaway which was a $25 cash app🎁. Congrats Girl!!(just in case you didn’t want your name mentioned)

Why is it that women(mostly black women) can’t uplift one another?? Why do we feel the need to compete or feel intimidated by each other successes or beauty?

Personally I think as women we are all self conscious and extra critical of ourselves. I know I’m so guilty of shopping certain places or shopping online just so no one will have the same clothes as me 🤦🏽‍♀️. It’s not that I don’t want others to dress as nice, it’s just that I don’t want to compare myself to others. And partly I blame my step mom for dressing me and niece alike when I was younger 😂😂 but for real though it’s a habit I don’t care to have. Also as women we are hard to approach and get along with…growing up I had only a handful of female friends bc it was too tedious. But the older I get the more I realize… female relationships are essential. We have a complex bond that men can’t understand. So even though these relationships are hard to manage they are necessary.

That’s my input,tell me yours! Remember check everyday posts…giveaways will come randomly!

What if….

So today I’ve been somewhat busy and I wasn’t going to write anything today but I’m working on being CONSISTENT,lol even if no one reads it.

I was racking my brain trying to think of what to talk about or what you guys would want to talk about. Then at that moment I seen a quote that said “what if’s is the question we ask just to hurt ourselves.”

So What if… what’s your what ifs?? Now I know,I know the politically biblically correct answer…so I’m not looking for that! I’m looking for some real answers…We’ve all said this at some point!

I’ll start it off…I constantly find myself thinking what if I didn’t have lupus. What if I would’ve went to college right after graduating. What if I waited years later to have kids. What if I wasn’t a First Lady. Now these are just SOME of the what if’s I’ve asked myself.

But you know I don’t feel like any of those things were mistakes. Of course It could’ve went another way in life but would I be where I am now?? Would I be HAPPILY married for 12 years? Would I have kids or would I have trouble having kids? Would I not have so many healing testimonies to share to help others? Would I have so many people honoring me and coming to me for advice and prayer. Would I be a role model for Christ?

So just looking at both sides of the “What if’s” I’m pretty content with life now lol! What about you?? I don’t think all “what if’s” are bad…some of them torment us but some of them reminds us how grateful we should be!

Lets talk! Talk back to me…after reading and commenting,give me a topic or question you would like to discuss…nothing is off limit(we all grown)! Oh and giveaways coming soon…keep looking everyday! I’m doing a giveaway from this post but you have to be a follower of this page,like and comment on here to get your name in the drawing!

Ready,Set, Gooo!!

As women,We hate to admit it but do you…..

First off,I want to say thank you all so much for your support! Y’all are awesome!  So coming up with the topics I’ve decided that I’ll take suggestions but whatever is on my heart is what I’m doing.

As women we are naturally bossy,oppionated, a take charge kinda person. But that’s what makes us natural born mamas! The one flaw I think a lot of us have is apologizing or forgiving. I’ve been really self evaluating myself lately and I’ve been harboring unforgiveness and was totally clueless that I was 🤦🏽‍♀️.

So my question is, do you hold on to unforgiveness? Or feel like you deserve to be mad? Or thought you were over it until you seen or heard a persons name and you got mad all over again. I know!! I’ve been guilty of this 🖐🏽…

Please feel free to vent,offer advice or motivate others that has been through similar situations and show them there is life after hurt❤️❤️

#2ndblog#lovingit#unforgiveness

If money wasn’t a issue would you…….

So this past weekend I went to a Women’s conference, which was awesome! It’s nothing like being with a group of women with similar interest. So,of course self worth was a key topic.

We all like to think that we value ourselves, we will accept nothing but the best. But really I’m sure we’ve all yielded to things that wasn’t quite what we wanted. Whether it was going to Dunkin Donuts instead of Starbucks to save a dollar or two or going to the not so good nail salon because there is less of a wait time. Yeah we all do it.

But the question what peaked my interest was, “If money wasn’t a issue would you have any kind of surgery to enhance your beauty?” Would you??? Honestly I think I lied to myself until I really started to think… So,I’m ok with my body somewhat, I could use a few sit ups 😂😂 but I really examined myself and thought hmm…I could use cosmetic surgery on my teeth. Like really who wouldn’t want whiter straighter teeth??! So I kinda felt condemned that I considered the possibility until I thought why?! Why should I feel bad if I wanted to improve myself… You shouldn’t, but you should if you’re doing it for anyone other than yourself.

Changing your outer appearance may give you more confidence on the outside but you will still feel insecure on the inside. We have to love ourselves for who we are and get that attitude that “I like me even if no one else does”. I seen this quote and fell in love with it,it said ” when I used to walk in a room I would wonder where could I sit but now I walk in and find where I want to sit”. You have you to know that You’re Awesome and that anyone that is lucky enough to know you they are blessed.

Feel free to answer the question or comment your opinion or thoughts❤️

#firstblog#excited#selfworth